A Fall to Remember

Foothill Knolls Elementary school reunion! Upland, ca SO FUN!

View of Canada from Detroit, Caesars Palace!

Ben and Jerrys new flav! Ann Arbor

Ann Arbor, Michigan

Holy Moley I ate polish sausage in Detroit ...so good!!

Poker for the anitsocial, Caesars Palace Canada

Just one section of the Ikea sized xmas store (the Smores ornaments of course), Michigan.  And NO thats not my boyfriend!

I was digging the sweater!  Corona Del Mar Xmas Walk

Robin and I took a trip to the north pole!  Naw I edited the pic...Costa Mesa!

Trees on the east coast!

Dr. Eric (in 1 year) U of M Linguistics Dept.

Cassey, Demi, Me and Della.  HAWT cuzzins on Thanksgiving

Happy and...Happy

Cancun with Jenny

Jet packing during sunday brunch at Rusty Pelican w/Liz

Me, Dawn, Liz and Kelly.  Liz's Bday dinner.  

ummm yeah.  At a guys house I dated.  Notice the past tense.

My Cuzzins babays

Eric and I ice skating at Prost Arena, U of M

For my mom: Occupy Ann Arbor.  It was 30 degrees.

Our waiter at Happy Hour is the dude from Twilight!

just cute

Ummm Smores can I please type?

Michael Jackson Dance party!!!!

Beautiful Tuscon AZ

Mt. Lemmon, AZ

OC fair to see Pat Benetar - Harry Heng!

Me and my cuzzins.  21 again. ( I airbrushed)

Two Lesbians Raised A Baby And This Is What They Got

2011 Reflections

1. What was the single best thing that happened this past year?
 

Finding probably the best roommates ive ever had.  They are an older Christian couple and they are very loving and accepting!

2. What was the single most challenging thing that happened?

Working in a very unhealthy environment.

3. What was an unexpected joy this past year?

A elementary school class reunion.  So fun!

4. What was an unexpected obstacle?

Finding a steady job that pays well.  Its definitely an employers market.

5. Pick three words to describe 2011.

Stressful, Restful, Reuniting

6. Pick three words your spouse would use to describe your 2011 (don’t ask them; guess based on how you think your spouse sees you).

Awakenings, Bravery, Reflective


 8. What were the best books you read this year?

I only read self help books and my favorites were:

Healing the Hungry Heart –Poppik

You Can Heal Your Life (reread)- Hay

9. With whom were your most valuable relationships?

This year I spent a lot of time with my good friend Eric (from Jr High Band).  Even though he lives out of state, somehow we saw each other a lot and have been talking a lot.

Jenny, my sis, and Liz were my closest most consistent relationships.  Also ive had a lot of time with Harry Heng!

10. What was your biggest personal change from January to December of this past year?

Trying really hard to grow up and be responsible.  The harder I try the younger I become! lol


11. In what way(s) did you grow emotionally?

Ive learned that instead of overanalyzing everything Ive said and coming to the conclusion that im a horrible person and no one likes me, I just tell myself “ok joella you learned from this.  You live, you learn.”  I then let it go, and move on.

12. In what way(s) did you grow spiritually?

Im really starting to make a shift in my negative perceptions and allowing myself to feel deep emotions that I usually do what I can to avoid feeling.  Bad feelings are worse in my mind then in my body!

 13. In what way(s) did you grow physically?

Just weight gain but im actually ok with it.

14. In what way(s) did you grow in your relationships with others?

I reunited with a lot of people this year and I was able to start to regrow and nourish those relationships.  For the first time in a long– ive experienced challenges in a couple of friendships.  This helped me to strengthen and appreciate the good friends I do have.

 15. What was the most enjoyable area of managing your home?

I redecorated my room and made a cool head board and mismatched photos on the wall.

16. What was your most challenging area of home management?

Cleaning.  I definitely procrastinate.  Although I keep up with laundry very well.  Thank gawd we have a housekeeper!  Yes im bragging.

17. What was your single biggest time waster in your life this past year?

Facebook of course!

18. What was the best way you used your time this past year?

 Walking almost everyday. 

19. What was the biggest thing you learned this past year?
That I have a lot of negative perceptions of life and that everything bad that happens is not my fault.  I tend to think that there’s something about my thinking or energy that brought a circumstance into my life.  This is in regards to the law of attraction.  Ive come to realize that its more multifaceted.

20. Create a phrase or statement that describes 2011 for you.

Growth in the darkness.

Yenta

Hi..Joella..Compulsive Gossiper.


Ok so my sister says its inevitable because its in my blood: the gossiping, the constant talking, the uncontrollable yearning for a ridiculous amount of diamond jewelry, a tiara and a doctor or lawyer to marry.

Maybe it is, but I must say consistently since elementary school I have been in trouble for gossiping.  I still havent learned my lesson to this day a the ripe age of 29.  Ive been able to do better with it, but literally at every job ive been at ive gotten in trouble for gossiping, being overly social and too playful.

My brain is always thinking of a joke, how a situation reminds me of a Seinfield episode or In Living Color Skit. I usually can only see the humor in a situation and I guess am a pretty open person.  Nothing is ever that big of a deal, unless it is obviously very personal and hurtful.  I sometimes trip out on how serious people take themselves.  In fact I recently got deleted off of someones facebook friends list for making fun of something on their page.  I mean cmon it was FUNNY.  I actually think its awesome I got deleted for it too.

So is harmless gossiping that bad?  I mean of course I dont want to be known as the big blabber mouth that you cant trust.  But I also see it as a way of connecting with people and tend to feel powerless over it.  Like it just comes rushing out of my mouth.

I guess it all comes down to what we need to learn about everything in life: balance and respect.  If it doesnt make me feel good I shouldnt do it. Im a good person.

One last thing....when you know someone has a big mouth, why do you keep telling them everything???

OY VEY!

Energy

So today when I was driving to work, Lady Gaga on every station, I had a moment of deep insight.  I would say to Epiphenomenol extremes.  It was about energy.  Now im a HUGE believer in energy, meaning: everything is energy.  Now this is scientifically a fact. I mean we are all made of stars, the only thing that separates us and stars is time...but that is a whole different story.   Hydrogen and helium...we are made of these energies and for me to wrap my head around it...no good.  I get a little freaked out.

So back to my point.  Energy.  We are all walking energies.  What we carry around energies including our thoughts, our past, our resentments ,our fears- is what shows up in our lives. For example:  I may believe deep down or subconsciously that I am unattractive because I was a fat teenager or unlovable because my dad abandoned me, so I am automatically attracted to men whose energy is that of not emotionally available and unable to love me.  Until I can clear out those beliefs which create a certain energy about me, will i then exude a different energy, attract a different type of energy to me and be attracted to a certain type of energy. 

I studied Rieki energy therapy in massage school and was very skeptical going into it.  I thought  Whatves!  This is so woo woo!  Reminds me of my mom and her friends!  I remember feeling particularly closed hearted that night and when my partner did energy work on my heart, I kid you not, my heart completely opened up, fearless and ready to love.  Randomly shortly after I read an article about a hospital using reiki with the result being faster healing amongst injured patients. Read more about it here. 

50 Universal Truths About Men

By Bob Grant

1. Why should I remind you that "I love you?" I already told you once.

2. I'll do anything for sex; even commit to you for life.

3. I hate arguing with you. I'd much rather find a compromise.

4. I love long hair. Sorry, but I do.

5. When you speak softly, I can't help but listen.

6. I need to be told "no" sometimes. Not a lot, but every now and again reminds me that you are expensive.

7. Please don't ask me how you look unless you're willing to trust my answer.

8. My eyes notice other women a lot more when you are upset with me.

9. When you're happy with me I can't help but want to please you.

10. If I don't feel I can make you happy, it makes me feel less than a man.

11. I expect you to be ready when I pick you up.

12. Cigarettes make any woman look cheap and easy.

13. I'm scared if I let a woman inside my heart, she'll take advantage of me.

14. If you can't stand up to me when I'm a brat, you're too weak for me to open up to when I'm upset.

15. Sitting quietly next to me after you've made me a meal is your get-out-of-the-doghouse-free ticket. You'll be surprised how quickly I can forgive.

16. You did something hurtful. If I never bring it up, I'm considering leaving you.

17. I don't read minds. Remember, I'm not a girl.

18. You may know fashion, but I wish you'd dress to please me, not other women.

19. If I'm losing my hair, it's not funny. Would you like me to joke about your weight?

20. When I talk to you about golf and you act bored, it would be nice for you to remember all the times I listened to you talk about what is important to you.

21. The woman I love is easy to please. She appreciates the effort I put into making her happy, even if I get the details wrong.

22. You look hot in a dress.

23. I hate being told what to do when I don't ask for help. It makes me feel you're my mother.

24. If you sleep over, I might eventually marry you, but I'm less motivated.

25. During sex my ears are as sensitive to your words as your skin is to my touch.

26. I need some type of signal or cue to walk across the room and approach you. What if you're married!?

27. It makes me feel like you trust me when you ask for my advice.

28. It feels competitive when you insist on being in charge.

29. Being respected is more important to me that being loved.

30. I want every guy to envy me when we arrive as a couple. Please don't let yourself go.

31. When I'm upset I am very tone sensitive. How you say it is more important that what you say..

32. I hate it when you minimize/ignore my compliments. It makes me want to stop giving them.

33. I'm more insecure than you think. Why do you think I need your respect so much?

34. I don't always know how I feel. That's why I don't tell you.

35. I don't need you to do things for me. What I crave is being able to please you.

36. If I do one thing and say something contradictory - Go with my actions, that will always tell you what's in my heart.

37. I find myself wanting to please you when you simply smile at me without asking for something. (Like a favor).

38. I really don't want to hear about any of your ex-boyfriends, regardless of the point.

39. If I don't share what I'm thinking it's because I don't think you will listen without interrupting.

40. I don't like to argue and I don't like to guess what's wrong. Just tell me so I can fix it.

41. I love it when you put your hair in a pony tail. Yes, it's a Freudian thing.

42. Don't ask me, "Are you going to wear that?" when I'm already dressed.

43. A gentleman should always be respected by his lady in public, even if she is disagreeing with him.

44. If you don't believe you're pretty, you won't believe me when I tell you, no matter how many times I say it.

45. It isn't how much you weigh; it's that your body is proportionate which is so attractive.

46. Sometimes I have weird and strange thoughts. I don't take them seriously and I don't want to share them with you (or anyone).

47. Sometimes you really don't want to know what I'm thinking. See above.

48. If you cheat on me, it is nearly impossible for me to get over it.

49. I don't remember everything about our relationship and that doesn't mean I don't love you.

50. I need some time to myself to calm down when I'm upset so that I don't say something I will regret.

Moving!

So the whole time I have lived in the Desert, I have wanted to move out.  But I had to finish school.  At first I had a really shitty attitude about the whole thing but knew it was best for my future.  Eventually, I got a great job at The Betty Ford Center, where I was able to learn so much and grow so much as a person.  Next, I got to go to school at CSUSB Palm Desert Campus, which is small and intimate, so I was able to have the same group of people in my classes that I had so much fun with and got close to.  I will never forget the close friendships and good times that came from a place I considered to be so boring.  I realized that I kind of like a smaller, slow paced, close knit community where people are nicer and its less crowded.  So I decided the southern California city that would match that best would be San Diego.

Once I really decided thats what I wanted, everything fell beautifully into place...  I met a guy, he knew a girl who was hiring, got hired, gave my two weeks, girl who hired has a place for me to stay. March 15.

I have a lot of fears and anxiety about this change, but the way everything worked out, I have faith that this is right.

Find me here: